St. John Goes to Nicaragua

I am sure that the church grows weary of my push for mission trips. However, short term ministry changed my life.

We often think about going far away to help 'those poor people' in dire straights. However, my experience has been the opposite - I am the one that has been saved.

Indulge me for a few moments...

My first freshman year in college was challenging. I was the brightest, most likable, most likely to run the world, person in my small town. At least, that was my perception. Simply put, Georgia Tech kicked my ass. Calculus Three was my nemesis, but Jack Daniels was my comforter.

I attended a conference in the spring where I committed to working as a summer missionary near a National Park. A few weeks later, I started drinking - a lot. My grades were horrible before, but then I quit attending classes. Two days before leaving to be a summer missionary, I had one last blow out. I knew life was about to change and I was both glad and fearful.

My appointment was to Smoky Mountain Resort Ministries in Gatlinburg, TN. The drive from Cherokee to Gatlinburg was so long. The mountains are a holy place for me and that summer I learned to stand on holy ground.

I lived in a dorm on a church camp with 20 of my closest friends and neighbors. I helped with day camps in the morning and worked in a gift shop at night. On the weekends, I would lead worship in one of the campgrounds. It took me most of the summer to warm up to everyone. I was dreading the return to Atlanta and fearing that other staff members would think that I was unfit to do ministry. That experience was so awkward for such a social person.

Several weeks in, Georgia Tech sent me a letter confirming my failure. They suggested that I try a community college. At that point in life, I had experienced death, loss, fear, and uncertainty, but never failure. FAILURE. In that moment and through that summer, I experienced grace. I learned to be aware of god's presence, to accept grace, to speak and receive blessing.

I had preached sermons on the tenant that you cannot earn god's love, but that concept was for other people. I was good enough. I could give grace and acceptance to others, but my pride made it challenging to receive. The summer was challenging, yet incredibly formative.

I am who I am, because of that summer. I returned to Gatlinburg and worked with Smoky Mountain Resort Ministries for five years. My faith and theology are entrenched with the lessons of the mountains. See the next posting for more on this.

As our group prepares to travel to Nicaragua, I am reminded of the power of shared ministry. Do the folks in Nicaragua needs us? Sure. Do we need the people in Nicaragua? Sure. In the end, I suspect that we are the greater beneficiaries.

Maybe we learn a little grace. Maybe we learn to see god in a new light. Maybe we broaden our understanding of the world. Maybe we learn a new way of loving. Maybe we come to understand ourselves better.

Through it all, I pray that we are able to be fully present and tuned in to the movements of god in and through us.